Ryu2.mind

Generally, I'm thankful for being an ABC here and having basic knowledge of Chinese language and culture to ease the cross-cultural transition a bit... most of the time, it's indeed the best of both worlds.

But I'm realizing a little knowledge can be a dangerous thing -- for after showing them that you're not a total twinkie, Chinese people have a tendency to assume you know all the ins and outs, and don't need hand-holding... or they assume you're willing to be treated like the other locals (ie, deal with the @#$@ dished out) in situations good and bad.

Indeed, talking to the laowais at my company, they often seem to be have a easier time in terms of people going out of their way to help them with basic logistical stuff like housing, getting things fixed, etc. In a way, this state of affairs is fine with me... trial by fire and learning things first hand by doing it on my own, so to speak.

Still, there have been many times that I feel like just throwing my hands up and wanting to play the part of the ben laowai (stupid foreigner -- being white is implied in the term) -- using ignorance of the language or culture as a ploy to get out of troublesome or plain irritating situations... or just put up such a big Obnoxious American show that eventually, locals relent/leave you alone/fulfill your request as the case may be just to get you off their backs.

Of course, physically, it'd be hard for me to resort to something like that. So my answer to the oft-posed thought question: if you could have one supernatural ability, what would it be, and why...

I wish I could at will, switch appearance between being laowai and Chinese. Perhaps being able to quickly suit up from my usual mild-mannered Asian identity, a la your favorite comic book superhero... yeah, that's it! ;)

Police/PSB stop you for some stupid reason and want to give you a ticket? Something in your apartment broken and your landlord is stalling on the repairs? Laowai mode! Driving a hard bargain at Xiangyang? Need to get those "sold-out" train tickets or those cheap hotel deals? Chinese mode!

Well, one can dream. Must... learn... to... deal...