Ryu2.mind

Themeaning of living in fidelity to the present moment, neither retreatingto the past nor anticipating the future, is wonderfully illustrated bya Zen story about a monk being pursued by a ferocious tiger. He racedto the edge of the cliff, glanced back, and saw the growling tigerabout to spring. The monk spotted a rope dangling over the edge of thecliff. He grabbed it and began shinning down the side of the cliff.Whew! Narrow escape. He stared down and saw a huge quarry of jaggedrocks five hundred feet felow. He looked up and saw the tiger poisedatop the cliff with bared claws. Just then, two mice began to nibble atthe rope. What to do?

The monk saw a strawberry within arm'sreach growing out of the face of the cliff side. He plucked it, ate it,and exclaimed, "Yum-yum; that's the best strawberry I've ever tasted inmy entire life." If he had been preoccupied with the rock below (thefuture) or the tiger above (the past), he would have missed thestrawberry G0d was giving him in the present moment. Children do notfocus on the tigers of the past or the future but only on thestrawberry that comes in the here and now.

Thepast and the future: opposite things I've often dwelt on long beforecoming here. Like much in my present life, both constitute a tensionplayed out several ways.

One way is weather: unlike CA, days in SH where things are just rightare few and sweet. Outside two small windows of ~3 weeks each, it's alltoo tempting to be looking forward or backward to the "other" season,only to have the tables turned when it rolls around.

Another way would be life itself...

WhenI first arrived here, shortly before Chinese New Year, it was freezingand drizzling. I knew exactly five people here. I was anticipating thefuture... not only a future of warm weather, of not wearing 4-5layers... but a future of finding my niche and community in this city,and being productive... while discerning what my long-term plans andgoals were.

Fast forward six months: in the sweltering Shanghaisummer, I find myself wanting the past... a past where I'm not sweatingbuckets every time I step out... as well as a past of a routine yetpredictable life... and having a thriving and supportive community backin the Bay Area and at GrX.

Living by faith day by day. Iremember Susan Cho Van Riesen speaking about pretty much the same thingat Urbana 2000 when I was in another 'exploration' phase filled withuncertainty about the 'future', and Manning's reminded me of it justnow.

There are indeed times for fond rememberence, as well asbeing a visionary. But I've decided this summer is a season foremost toground myself in my new home and strengthen the foundation: tostart truly exploring off the beaten path and experience SH  as aresident, not a tourist; to proactively grow nascent relationships with both locals and expats without thinking that 'the USA/Bay Area/GrX is so much better than this', nor worrying about what the future might hold... long-term career, a special someone, or whatnot.

Inmany ways, this is why I've elected not to go back to the US again forseveral months. Rather, I want to build on the momentum I have so far-- to taste the strawberries here in Shanghai.

Such is my Hope for now...