Ryu2.mind

Let your yes be yes...

I try not to let this blog fall into a trap that ensnares many aexpat blogger in China -- namely, becoming a bitch-and-whine-fest aboutvarious aspects of life and society here.  Indeed, I think I'm inthe phase of cross-cultural adjustment where I'm starting to roll withthe waves and find contentment, even amusement at the countless quirksand apparent absences of logic I see every day.

But there's one attribute in particular I realizeis deficient here, and that I can't really learn to "justlive with it".  Indeed, this realization has made me value and treasure it all themore dearly: in friends, co-workers, my future spouse (whoever she maybe)... namely, direct and forthright communication.

I'mnot evenreferring to outright lying and deception... although it happens, noram I saying to be rude and completely abandon diplomacy; butI'm thinking rather of folks "beating around the bush", presumably to"save face"  when they don't have a answer they think  I wantto hear.

Casein point:  On Sunday, a friend of mine and I were meeting someoneelse for dinner at Isetan after church.  We ask the subway personwhether this station was the right one.

She of course, says yes, it's quite close by.  After a fewminutes walking, we realize it isn't.  Spend 2 kuai to go to thenext station (we were about to drop dead from heat exhaustion at thatpoint, so walking was unfathomable).  Repeat the same routine.Ofcourse, then we find out it's actually equidistant between thetwo, after I pull out my trusty Lonely Planet... had either the stationperson admitted she didn't know, I could have looked it up right thereand there. [of course, it also illustrates a fault of our own; had welooked up the map right there and there, we wouldn't have to ask and wecould have just gotten off at the first station...]

 Today,at my favorite xiaolongbao place during lunch, I was waiting for about20 minutes for a takeout order which normally should take 5-10minutes.  I enquire with more than one fuwuyuan (service person) and they all say, yes, my xiaolongbaowill be forthcoming immediately or at most, in 2 minutes.  And theresolution?  Well, those who know me know I rarely raise my voice,but today was one of those times... =P

It's not even an xtian thing -- really, just a social value toadopt.  The government loves to launch social propaganda campaignscentered around health, civil behavior, anti-corruption, etc. -- howabout if they focus on getting people to speak their minds and giving the straight dope? I've got a strong feeling this is one of the foundational things thatneeds to be addressed first in this society before they tackle most ofthe other stuff.

Andwhile we're on the subject... some other more or less relatedcommunication quirks that kind of annoy me (which are, by far, notendemic to China/Chinese):

* People who don't answer questions I ask them in email.  I'm nottalking about "What's up?" fluff, but real questions that should beanswered.  A (well... somewhat) hypothetical example:

Me: X, good to see you'll be in Shanghai... what's your schedule like?  And do you have a phone number in China yet?
X: Yep, I'll be here from Y to Z.
Me: Sounds good... how can I get in touch with you?  Do you have a number?
X: Cool... see you then!
Me (mentally): Arrrrrrgh!

Again, even if the answer is "No, not yet" or "I don't know" --please say so!  Yes, I've been guilty of this countless timesmyself.  But if I realize I've forgot to address something, I'llquickly fix it.

 * Sending emails with blank subject lines, or even worse, blank bodies(ie, containing only attachments).  It happens a lot at my work, of all places.  =P

* Responding to an email thread (sometimes months old) with acompletely different message, instead of composing a brand new message,and even worse, not changing the subject line.

 * Using IM as a substitute for email (eg, long messages that need to becarefully read through)  Also, leaving IMs when I'm asleep(Remember, I'm on a different continent than most of you! =P ), and thenwondering why I didn't respond.

Just some minor things that I've been meaning to get out in the open for a while... =)

I've got a fever right now -- in 32 degree centigrade Shanghai weather.

Aches. Pains. No appetite whatsoever for solid food -- even walking is a chore. As they would say in SoCal -- hating it!

I woke up at around 5 AM tonight, with my body aching all over. I notice the AC was on. Groggily I turn it off, and went back to sleep. Wake up around 6 AM, a bit better. Go back to sleep, and now, woke up around 7 AM, hurting and aching all over.

Oh well, that's what you get for falling asleep with the AC on, I think. But again, I've never really gotten sick like this in China (even with the AC blasting)... the worst I've experienced in my several trips here over the years have been a few bouts of "the D train" (ie, when your number 2 becomes similar to number 1... =P )

So I wonder... was the AC all that was causing it? Or something else deeper?

I was going to go swimming and catch a movie with cell group people this morning... looks like it's ain't gonna to happen. More importantly, a summer group from the states here are supposed to meet up with us for dinner tomorrow, to get an idea of long-term life here in SH. Could it be Someone is trying to stymie that meeting?

For now, I'm just thinking, crying, hoping in bed. I hope I can muster the strength later on to go to City Super and grab some imported medicine... and a smoothie at Element Fresh (the only place close enough for me to walk to right now...).

As I write this, thankfully I realize it's a chance to catch up on some Reading, and I now find refuge in these words: even though we are wasting way, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day. Please keep me in your thoughts.... :(

Yes, I've decided it's time for a brief change of scenery. I'm flying up there tonight, and staying until Tuesday. Thankfully, things have more or less recovered health-wise for me, except for a bit of a cough... thanks everyone so far, and we'll see how it goes!

Things I'm eagerly anticipating:

* Meeting, sharing with, learning from, and enjoying the companionship of friends and mentors, old and new, both visiting from back home as well as those resident there.

* Being in a city with centuries of real Chinese history and culture... as opposed to a one that owes its existence solely to being a trading port for foreigners built in the 19th century.

* Authentic Northern/Northeastern food.

* Sunday at BICF; proof that a thriving international Xtian Community can exist even amidst the restrictions of this country. I've never failed to been tremendously blessed the handful of times I've been there; the one in Shanghai -- and even GrX back home -- could learn a few things from them.

* Dairy Queen -- for those hot summer days, a refreshing middle ground between 1-2 RMB local ice cream and horrendously overpriced 30-70 RMB Haagen Daaz.

* Being uncle to my favorite nephews and niece, Mika, Jeremy, and Benjamin!

Things I'll miss:

* A subway system that's actually somewhat efficent and useful.

* The ability to totally forget you're in China in many places.

* The Shanghaiese surliness and impatience often displayed by folks on the street. Yes, like NY, it grows on you. =)

* Stretching out in my own bed in my own apartment after a long hard, hot day.

* My expat and local friends here in SH.

* The newly-emergent feeling of being a resident and not a visitor.

All in all though, I'm looking forward to the change of pace for a bit, the different variety, some data points for me so I can reflect more critically on SH life, and a refreshing reminder of the most important Reason why I ultimately decided to take a leap of faith in coming to China...

Stay tuned!

Backfrom Beijing... some things to process and share about in due time, butfor now, here's an account of a rather interesting dinner experience definitely off the beaten track.

Basically, I went with Will, Davids Kim and Ro, uspolymer, and eliao on Sunday for some Korean food in Beijing.

Some North Korean food, that is.

At a restaurant run by the NK government.

Apparently,they have several restaurants around the world -- serving as much of atourist attraction as anything else, not to mention being a source offoreign currency for Pyongyang. Supposedly, there's one in Austria, anda few other countries, but the majority of them are in China. Nearlyall the staff: chefs, waitresses, and the like come from North Korea,essentially representing the country in this capacity.

For me Ihad a personal interest, for besides my long-present interest in Chinaand Japan, I've been harboring a fascination with North Korea for thelast year or so... see this entry for more reflections on this topic.

Twoyears ago when some of us went to Beijing, we embarked on a wild huntacross Beijing for the elusive restaurant run by the NK government.Like Bigfoot or the Loch Ness monster, some people reported sightings,but when we went there, it was nowhere to be found, and I ultimately left Beijingdisappointed. Fortunately, this time, our Beijing host DRo wasprepared, and with my avid encouragement, off we went.

It was myfirst time eating NK food (distinct from SK food in several ways) andinteracting with North Koreans up close and personal. Yes, I'm stillhoping and Thinking for a chance to somehow enter the country in thenot-too-distant future, but until then, having dinner at this uniqueplace was fascinating enough on its own.

TheChinese name of the place is Yu Liu Guan... Pyongyang cuisine at itsfinest. =)  According to my Korean friend samjang, the hangul letters say Pyoung Yang's Oak Ryu Guan #1restaurant (place).

Theydo a brisk business here. The venue was two stories and probably had aseating capacity of 200-300. Most (90%) of the clientele are actuallySouth Koreans, for whom eating here is the closest they'll ever get toexperiencing North Korea. A good portion of the rest are Chinese orKorean-Chinese. Apparently, only a small handful of customers are bona fide North Koreans.

Liveentertainment was provided by the motherland's finest. According touspolymer, they sang Korean folk songs (loved by both the North and theSouth) rather than anything political or propaganda in nature.

EveryNorth Korean citizen is supposed to wear a pin with the image of Great LeaderKim Il Sung, and our waitress was no exception. DKim was a bitdisappointed that he couldn't get one for himself.

Takingour order. DKim is wanting to get a picture with the NK girl whileuspolymer was our lifesaver by being our Korean translator, as shespoke no English and only minimal Chinese.

Incidentally, thewaitress majorly chewed out DKim for being Korean and not being able tospeak the language (referring to it as chosunmal, not hangukmal).

Ourlovely NK waitress is pouring some Sprite, which surprised me a bit,being a product of the evil capitalist Coca Cola company fromimperialist America.

As you can tell, she wasn't too happy to have her picturetaken. Apparently, it's because the girls are sent from NK as culturalperformers and not waitresses, and to have them pictured in the lattercapacity would be a embarassment for their homeland. I'd say Pyongyanghas bigger problems to worry about at the moment, but to each their own...

Snip, snip, while DRo and DKim await the bulgogi/kalbi.

Service with a smile... or a very good imitation thereof on the outside -- sort of like the home country itself, I wonder?

Seafood in a shell.

Some seafood-type "salad".

Bulgogi...similiar but definitely distinct from the South Korean version. Lesssweet, spicier, and meatier are things that come immediately to mind.This was definitely the best part of the meal.

A very fulfilling meal.

Agroup shot with one of North Korea's finest. uspolymer was interestedin asking about her age (24), how long she had been in China (1 year),where she was from (Pyongyang), and whether she volunteered for thisposition (she applied, and it was a great honor to be chosen). Most ofthe answers seemed memorized and scripted, as we asked another girl,and got similar responses.

Unfortunately, uspolymer never got achance to ask her for her phone number. =) But he was not alone, asapparently, the girls do get hit on by South Koreans frequently... =P

The damage: 750 yuan for the six of us. Most, if not all of it, will go directly to Pyongyang and the government there.

Some closing food for thought:Were we right to give them our patronage and in the process, support aregime that makes China at its worst look positively angelic incomparison?

In a world driven by law and idealism alone, theanswer would be clear. And yet, as I reflect on this back home in SH,I'm reminded that legalism and idealism for legalism and idealism'ssake are all the more undesirable...  For He after all did notavoid or shun the most lost amongst the lost, and the poorest amongstthe poor, but ate and dined in their midst.

On Sunday inBeijing, in a way we did a bit of that, and while we came in with nopurpose other than to fill our stomachs, I left nonetheless feeling abit better off because of the experience.

Update: For Beijing visitors and residents wanting to sample it for yourself:

http://www.yazuo.com/restaurant/3051/content.htm
北京玉流宫餐饮 (Beijing Yuliu Palace Food and Drinks)
地址： 朝阳区湖光中街8号 (8 Middle Huguang Street, Chaoyang District)

Thanks to Micah for unearthing the webpage with the info.

Themeaning of living in fidelity to the present moment, neither retreatingto the past nor anticipating the future, is wonderfully illustrated bya Zen story about a monk being pursued by a ferocious tiger. He racedto the edge of the cliff, glanced back, and saw the growling tigerabout to spring. The monk spotted a rope dangling over the edge of thecliff. He grabbed it and began shinning down the side of the cliff.Whew! Narrow escape. He stared down and saw a huge quarry of jaggedrocks five hundred feet felow. He looked up and saw the tiger poisedatop the cliff with bared claws. Just then, two mice began to nibble atthe rope. What to do?

The monk saw a strawberry within arm'sreach growing out of the face of the cliff side. He plucked it, ate it,and exclaimed, "Yum-yum; that's the best strawberry I've ever tasted inmy entire life." If he had been preoccupied with the rock below (thefuture) or the tiger above (the past), he would have missed thestrawberry G0d was giving him in the present moment. Children do notfocus on the tigers of the past or the future but only on thestrawberry that comes in the here and now.

Thepast and the future: opposite things I've often dwelt on long beforecoming here. Like much in my present life, both constitute a tensionplayed out several ways.

One way is weather: unlike CA, days in SH where things are just rightare few and sweet. Outside two small windows of ~3 weeks each, it's alltoo tempting to be looking forward or backward to the "other" season,only to have the tables turned when it rolls around.

Another way would be life itself...

WhenI first arrived here, shortly before Chinese New Year, it was freezingand drizzling. I knew exactly five people here. I was anticipating thefuture... not only a future of warm weather, of not wearing 4-5layers... but a future of finding my niche and community in this city,and being productive... while discerning what my long-term plans andgoals were.

Fast forward six months: in the sweltering Shanghaisummer, I find myself wanting the past... a past where I'm not sweatingbuckets every time I step out... as well as a past of a routine yetpredictable life... and having a thriving and supportive community backin the Bay Area and at GrX.

Living by faith day by day. Iremember Susan Cho Van Riesen speaking about pretty much the same thingat Urbana 2000 when I was in another 'exploration' phase filled withuncertainty about the 'future', and Manning's reminded me of it justnow.

There are indeed times for fond rememberence, as well asbeing a visionary. But I've decided this summer is a season foremost toground myself in my new home and strengthen the foundation: tostart truly exploring off the beaten path and experience SH  as aresident, not a tourist; to proactively grow nascent relationships with both locals and expats without thinking that 'the USA/Bay Area/GrX is so much better than this', nor worrying about what the future might hold... long-term career, a special someone, or whatnot.

Inmany ways, this is why I've elected not to go back to the US again forseveral months. Rather, I want to build on the momentum I have so far-- to taste the strawberries here in Shanghai.

Such is my Hope for now...

If you want to pass some time: A so-called demonstration of ESP. People that I've showed it to seem to either get the trick immediately, or at least within a minute... or they remain stymied for a long while. [If you do get it, please don't spoil the fun for everyone else by revealing it!]

Morethan the actual "ESP" though, what struck me the most (in waysenlightening, humorous, and pathetic at the same time) are the explanationsthat people (many claiming to be educators and other supposedly learnedfolks) give for how the site works: time travel, quantum mechanics,aliens, and whatnot.

It's a bit sad, really -- but I'm notreferring to people being unable to see the trick quickly -- everyoneprocesses things differently cognitively, after all. Rather it's howfolks, when faced with a slight intellectual roadblock, rather thanthinking a bit from the ground up to figure it out, will give up -- andafter doing so, use up probably a greater amount of their mental energy to dream up these elaborate and outlandish "explanations".

Thereare physical couch potatoes... and then there are the intellectual kind. Arepeople in the 21st century really that intellectually lazy? =P

Four members of the Stanford class of 1999: myself, King, Pui, and Will, after some fine Indochinese dinner last week at Cochinchina.

We were all part of His community in college: Pui was in IV, the other three of us were in FiCS. Regardless of group affiliation though, pretty much all the Asian-American Brothers and Sisters knew each other, and in many ways, we all journeyed together as one Body, growing closer in our four (or more) years to each other and to the One above.

And now, part of that Body finds itself in Shanghai. That night, during dinner and later, dessert, the four of us had a blessed time sharing and catching up, a time that I truly hadn't experienced in a long while.

Pui is here for a year, studying Mandarin at Fudan. Will is here for a week, formerly with Bain in HK and now travelling throughout Asia before starting b-school at Wharton.

And then there's King. We met in a boring freshman physics section and hit it off from then on. After spending several years as a mechanical engineer at GM (the car company) in Detroit, he arrived here in Shanghai last week to continue work for them. Like myself, he's planning to stay indefinitely (ie, "long term") -- and being similarly like-minded in the reasons for coming to China, professionally and personally.

Thus far in Shanghai, I've met all manner of interesting folk, and have started to forge some relationships that I know I'll cherish for a long while... and yet, there's something special about having an already close friend and brother out here in the same city, walking the same path with the same goals in mind, going through the same new experiences and transitions, and in a position to experience the same struggles and triumphs.

Out of the many things we talked about, the need for support, accountability, and fellowship for all of us became all the more clear. Indeed, community has been on my mind a lot lately... and I've been thinking a lot about the need, as well as its nature and purpose, talking to several others (and Him) as well and meeting with affirmation in the process.

Could all this be a revival? The beginning, the core, the nucleus of of something new?

More to come... =)

Yes indeed, even across the Pacific, there's no escaping the long arms of the Stanford Fund! =P Interestingly, it bore no postmark, but it did seem to be mailed from France, of all places, judging from the right corner (although on the reverse, it bore the usual Stanford Alumni Association return address).

I wonder if I'll still get fundraising calls from my alma mater out here. It's the one source of telemarketing that I'm somewhat sympathetic to... because most, if not all of the calls are placed by students (campus organizations/clubs volunteer to call or write alumni to fundraise, and get a cut of the revenue). I was in their shoes not so long ago myself doing the same thing after all, and sometimes, if I'm not too busy, I'll strike up a conversation about what's changed or not changed in dorm life, professors, etc.

From the foothills to the Bay... and now Shanghai too. Hail, Stanford, hail... =)