Ryu2.mind

Finally settled into my new and more or less permanent place, opened my bank account, my work visa is being processed... at long last, I think it truly begins.

Anyhow, I went to the International Church here for the first time in a while (well, since 2002 at least).

I was looking forward to this first Sunday where I really wanted to focus on meeting new faces at the International Church, but shortly before I was to leave home, I get a knock on my door while I'm showering. I hurriedly put on something, and went out to greet them. A delivery guy comes with a desk... very well, I was expecting it. I tell him to just put it in my room, and then he says... 180 kuai. What the...? For the desk? I told him that no, my landlord is supposed to be paying for this... and where the heck was he?!? This is of course, while I'm still dripping wet.

I tell him to call the landlord, and lo and behold, he's coming. Finally, he comes, and all is resolved, and I just tell him to work with the guys to bring the other upcoming furniture in.

Yes, the classic case of one hand not knowing what the other is doing. I shudder to think what would happen if I was a laowai who couldn't speak Chinese.

TIC...

Anyhow, I was planning a leisurely walk to church down Nanjing Xi Lu, to Changshu Lu, and down Hengshan Lu to take in Shanghai on a beautiful (relatively) Sunday afternoon, but of course, this complication put a wrench in my plans, and I had to cab it.

Got to the church just as they were doing introductions. I hurriedly introduce myself, where I was from, what I was doing here. I was still rushed though, and it didn't help that I forgot to turn off my cell phone ringer and chiedog calla me right in the middle of the offering time. RING!

Imagine the eyes of several hundred people from over 40 nations fixed on you. Doh! Well, I'm sure people will now remember who I am now...

The whole thing just sort of threw my heart off track for worship. Mind you, it was awe-insipiring, I felt. If you want a taste of "every tribe and tongue" worshipping Him together as described in Revelation is like, there is probably no better place -- at least in this world -- than the International Fellowship in Shanghai or its sister in Beijing. Taiwan and HK Chinese, Caucasians, Africans, South Asians, young students to senior citizens -- all singing with one voice, and one heart.

And yet... it was not perfect for me. Because, with every occasional off-key note, with every missed beat, with every wrong lyric displayed... I started thinking:

It's good, but it's no GrX. And I began to imagine:
if only Bobby was here leading worship...
If only Tiff was programming and Mike was doing tech...
If only Ben was in charge of ushering... and yes, those Krispy Kremes...

... this place would be so much better!

And then, I mentally kicked myself... because I should be glad that such a place even exists here! And that He calls us to worship Him in spirit and in truth, not in Powerpoint and in amplified instruments... the former that 2 billion believers do every week, the latter, something only a very few in developed countries get to experience, and which matters nary a whit in His eyes. In the final set, we sang "When I Survey the Wondrous Cross"... and He again reminded me that we should be be focused on Him up there, and not our stuff down here.

I realized, during the message, that they could just be pangs of longing for a community that I just left behind indefinitely scarcely two week ago, a community I always took for granted -- but then again, I realized that these feelings of inadequacy and selfishness might just be the enemy might be attacking me.

Please keep me in your thoughts...

Still, He lifted me up, for it was there I ran into Pui from Stanford, studying at Fudan... what a blessing to see a like-minded old friend from school, now out here as well.

And there were more blessings in the interactions we had afterwards... more to come. =)