If I knew I wouldn't be defensive, what would you say about me?
The other day at church, Pastor Dave asked us this question. It's been a question that I've always wondered about for quite a while, and really wish I could ask everyone in some way, shape, or form.
Indeed, my very closest friends (both male and female) all share one thing in common: They have no reservations about rebuking my actions and thoughts when they need to be, and giving me the raw deal on things with no excuses or sugar-coating.
They're the ones who remind me that friendship is not a magic drug that gives you a high in the form of encouragement, acceptance and earthly affirmation -- something that I've always been tempted to view friendships as serving the purpose of. Such has its place at times, but ultimately, true intimate Christ-centered friendships are for the purpose of strengthening each other, and pain will be involved. Pain which we put up our defenses naturally, but pain which if we let it work in us, will ultimately temper and bolster our own maturity and character.
For the past few years, a substantial time where I felt like I had been devoid of them. Looking back, senior year was the year I outwardly grew the most in college. And I realize that it was no coincidence that was also the year I was in a close-knit discipleship group of me and four other guys. We more or less had known each other from school and fellowship. We had no reservations about sharing, encouraging, and rebuking each other -- spiritually naked before each other and before God.
And now, an opportunity has once again transpired in my life to be part of a group. How will it all pan out? I'm not sure... but I know that I'll learn something.
Yes, it was good just to hang out with these guys: Min, Roy, Rich, and Jimmy last night. Has a prayer been answered? Something had been on my mind since commiting to GrX was to parlay the relationships I had formed, and have some take root, going deep for the purpose of encouragement and accountability, bonds that may, God willing, even transcend geography once I take the plunge and go overseas.
Will I put my own defenses down, and be real and naked myself? No matter how many more character lessons lie ahead, God has already hinted that the preceding question will be the very first one of them all.
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