Ryu2.mind

Woohoo! The unprecendented has happened! It's an entry related to... relationships!This'll probably elicit all you lurkers out there to post comments(and/or eProps, if you're reading this in Xangaland). Yeah, you knowwho you are...

First off, to stave off the rumors, let mepreemptively say that this entry is prompted not out of any specificinterest on my part at this point in time... So... ;)

So, I'vebeen wondering recently -- why are older women/younger men couples muchless prevalent than the reverse? How come modern American society seemsto value youngness in women, in particular, relative to men? Should notthe emphasis on youth be placed on men -- after all, Western cultureemphasizes virility, courage, and "bravado" in men, which areexemplified in those of young age.

I personally do know a goodnumber of successful couples where the woman is significantly (let'sarbitrarily define it as two or more years) older than the man. Therecent engagement of one of them, Helen and Johnfrom church has served to only testify further to this (in fact, itmainly prompted this entry). They are still very much in the minoritythough -- why is this so?

Yes, a women is expected to bearchildren, and obviously, there's a age limit for that, but that reasonhas nothing to do with society's preference for the relative age of her husband being older.

At the recent CEA conference,there was in fact a whole mentor session about older woman/younger manrelationships, led by a couple where the wife was seven years older. Ididn't attend it personally, but I'm glad that other people arestarting to examine the issue, and realize it's not taboo to for aguy/girl to be dating/marrying a older/younger partner.

Strangeas it may be when given some thought through a purely Western culturallens, when compared other cultures, our bias for younger women/oldermen becomes even more strange.

In Mongolian society, to name butone, the woman is much more expected to attend college and becomeeducated (ie, being older), whereas the man does the physical labor. Asa result, the female:male ratio in the universities there are on theorder of 2:1. Mongolian marriages of older women to younger men seem tobe nearly the norm there. The woman is supposed to play the role of aemotional bulwark, a stable, "wiser" one, whereas the man is thephysical, "adventuring" type, being the physical defender of the family.

I'm not advocating that everyone should respectively seek out older women/younger men, nor is this combination inherentlybetter than the other way around. But we shouldn't have a bias againstit. A friend of mine summed it up best -- "Age is just a number." Weshould be relatively indifferent to age (within reason), compared toother attributes -- men/women should give older/younger women/men(within reason) equal consideration in thinking about "the one" and look at all the other factors.

Edit: Indeed, it's even more logical from a purelylongetivity-related standpoint, considering women, on the average, havea slightly higher lifespan than men.  In other words, olderwomen/younger men couples would be better in terms of maximizing thelifetime spent together as a couple than the other way around...

Discuss! =)

Some interesting ice cream flavors from Japan.

[This is, mind you, not a slam on Japan (it's from a Japanese newspaper, after all), but an observation that Japan's masterful skills of integration extend to the culinary realm as well. Who else could manage such a deft fusion of tastes so far removed from Western palates with that quinessential stable of American dessert? =)]

Living at home with my parents has its advantages (financial -- particularly in the Silicon Valley, relational). It also has some disadvantages (independence). However, the biggest pain of them all is being the de-facto IT support staff for my parents on a nearly weekly basis, who are not the most computer literate folks in the world.

Today, I just finished reformatting their Windows 98 system, hopelessly infested with spyware, adware and other crap, and cleanly installed Windows XP Professional on it.

I then installed Mozilla Firefox so their system wouldn't become bogged down by auto-installing junk again. No sooner had I handed it back to then, when my dad calls me, wondering how to get on the Internet (of course, he means "open a web browser") because he didn't see the blue e icon, and after I show him, asks me where his bookmarks were, and how to get to his email since he clicks on the "envelope" icon from the IE toolbar to use Outlook Express. Of course, he fails to notice the Outlook Express icon in the Start Menu and Quick Launch bar...

So why am I writing about this? This entry is just intended for me to blow off my own steam and share a glimpse of my life, and not intended to criticize my parents whatsoever. I love them like any child should, am very grateful to them for many things, and think very highly of them; I know there are many areas in my life where the tables would be flipped.

They are intelligent, with postgraduate degrees, and perfectly capable of learning and grasping computer usage concepts on their own. But with my presence, there is simply no incentive for them to take the initiative to do their own learning, thus empowering themselves. When I move to China (or heck, even to my own place in the Bay Area), it will be... ahem... interesting to see how they cope.

[PS: Unlike some other folks, my parents are almost certainly unaware of this blog, and this is likely to stay that way for a while to come. But even if they do find it, this is nothing I haven't told them, albeit in a different medium, so I have no reservations about them reading... for now...]

I consider myself to enjoy travelling, and there are many places on my list to go to. But I've recently been struck by a sudden, burning urge to visit North Korea during these past few days that's constantly been hovering in my head. Yes, North Korea, even though being 100% NOT Korean, I haven't the least bit of familial or patriotic ties there. Of course, getting in with a US passport is at best, difficult -- it's one of those countries in the world where US citizenship is a handicap rather than a benefit, so I have no idea how this mad quest will end.

Nevertheless, I've been surfing all the North Korea related sites I can find, including this apparently official portal.

I think part of my desire, interestingly enough, stems out of my passion for China -- for whatever happens to North Korea, it will have significant impact China and its strategic situation... whether it be collapse (an influx of refugees that China will need to deal with), peaceful reunification (an economic superpower to potentially rival Japan), or war on the peninsula (echoes of the past).

Much more of it comes from my conviction (optimistic as they may be) from hearing firsthand reports from reliable sources that North Korea will not last much longer in its current form. I want to see the world's last and purest hard-line Stalinist state for myself, and just see and appreciate (if one can use that word) exactly what tens of millions of people, my fellow Chinese brethren included, lived under during much of the 20th century. Like, say, a bit of unspoiled countryside, once it's gone, it's gone for good.

Anyhow, a friend of mine is there right now which makes the desire even more real for me -- I'm thinking a lot about him, and eagerly waiting for the chance to talk with him freely when he returns.

Another Korea entry. I'm on a roll here... =)

Now if only us Chinese would ditch the "Chinese Taipei" crap and do the same...

From http://news.xinhuanet.com/english/2004-02/27/content_1335226.htm

Paper says inter-Korean cooperation on Olympics goes beyond sports
　BEIJING, Feb. 27 (Xinhuanet) -- The cooperation between the Republicof Korea (ROK) and the Democratic People's Republic of Korea (DPRK) inOlympic Games is an "encouraging" news and its significance will "gofar beyond sports," China Daily said Friday.

The ROK and theDPRK decided Wednesday to march together under a unified flag duringthe opening ceremony of 2004 Summer Olympics in Athens and field ajoint athletic team for the 2008 Olympic Games in Beijing.

Thedecision was announced at a joint news conference on the sideline ofthe assembly in Athens of the Association of National OlympicCommittees.

"Joint Korean Olympic team marks progress" in thenational reconciliation on the Korean Peninsula, said a signed articlepublished by the paper.

"As the ongoing fresh round ofsix-party talks in Beijing has rekindled a ray of hope to defuse thelong-standing nuclear stalemate on the peninsula, inter-Koreanrelations have also shownpositive changes," said the article.

"The two sides have agreed to co-operate actively to field unifiedteams for the 2008 Olympics in Beijing," the paper cited Choi Eun-ki,an official at ROK Olympic Committee in Seoul, as saying.

Thetwo sides also agreed to hold bilateral talks for the organization of ajoint athletic team and the drafting of its training programs followingthe end of the Athens Olympics.

"The plan, if it comes tofruition, is indeed inspiring progress in the relationship between thetwo Koreas," said the article.

If I knew I wouldn't be defensive, what would you say about me?

The other day at church, Pastor Dave asked us this question. It's been a question that I've always wondered about for quite a while, and really wish I could ask everyone in some way, shape, or form.

Indeed, my very closest friends (both male and female) all share one thing in common: They have no reservations about rebuking my actions and thoughts when they need to be, and giving me the raw deal on things with no excuses or sugar-coating.

They're the ones who remind me that friendship is not a magic drug that gives you a high in the form of encouragement, acceptance and earthly affirmation -- something that I've always been tempted to view friendships as serving the purpose of. Such has its place at times, but ultimately, true intimate Christ-centered friendships are for the purpose of strengthening each other, and pain will be involved. Pain which we put up our defenses naturally, but pain which if we let it work in us, will ultimately temper and bolster our own maturity and character.

For the past few years, a substantial time where I felt like I had been devoid of them. Looking back, senior year was the year I outwardly grew the most in college. And I realize that it was no coincidence that was also the year I was in a close-knit discipleship group of me and four other guys. We more or less had known each other from school and fellowship. We had no reservations about sharing, encouraging, and rebuking each other -- spiritually naked before each other and before God.

And now, an opportunity has once again transpired in my life to be part of a group. How will it all pan out? I'm not sure... but I know that I'll learn something.

Yes, it was good just to hang out with these guys: Min, Roy, Rich, and Jimmy last night. Has a prayer been answered? Something had been on my mind since commiting to GrX was to parlay the relationships I had formed, and have some take root, going deep for the purpose of encouragement and accountability, bonds that may, God willing, even transcend geography once I take the plunge and go overseas.

Will I put my own defenses down, and be real and naked myself? No matter how many more character lessons lie ahead, God has already hinted that the preceding question will be the very first one of them all.
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If you're in the Boston/Cambridge area (I know I've got some readers there, but who exactly, I mostly have no idea), check out Boston Tea Stop, the newest and best tea place in Boston, which just opened this Monday.

Boston Tea Stop
HARVARD SQUARE
114 Mount Auburn St., 2nd Floor
Cambridge, MA 02138
(617) 354-5500
http://www.bostonteastop.com/

My friend Rich happens to be the owner, so ask for him, and tell him I sent you! =)