Excitate vos e somno, liberi mei.
Cunae non sunt.
Excitate vos e somno, liberi fatali.
Somnus non eat.
Wake up, my children
The cradle is no longer
Wake up, children of destiny
The peaceful rest is no longer
-- "Liberi Fatali", Final Fantasy VIII
Why does life have to be so complicated? Really, it's not so much the complexity of the current situations that I find myself having to deal with and navigate through soon, it's the capricious nature of everything. One moment I was in "peaceful rest", and now this.
It's not all bad -- in fact, some of it is exciting -- but in many ways, I'm presented with the opportunity to really take some leaps of faith, both professionally and personally. I've talked the talk... can I walk the walk? Many of my friends have gone down these paths I find myself treading in parallel -- and now I start to cautiously tread in their footsteps.
Yesterday afternoon, trying not to be overwhelmed by what God threw at me in seemingly rapid succession and the irresistable human urge to find out What It All Means when only God knows the answer, I went to Crestview to witness its last moments, and helped Rich, Ilaria, dT, Sohi, and Nancy throw out a pile of remaining odds and ends. As Slim observed, seeing the empty rooms that previously housed seven of the coolest guys I've had the privilege of knowing and their various accompaniments looked so surreal -- to the point where I wished I had my camera with me to document it. Even though I wasn't intimately involved in their daily lives, I had my share of fun hangout times there as well and good memories of that place. Crestview's change -- is it to be symbolic of what might happen to me soon?
From Crestview, I went to GrX small group, which was quite enjoyable for me too. I'm glad that I've come across such a great, dynamic church in the South Bay, and that I've even started to find a niche within that community -- much more quicker it seems than it took for me with KCPC or Wellspring. As with Crestview, being with friends and at least starting to tell them about my potential future path -- involving Asia, missions, and perhaps even gaming -- really did a lot to take my mind off of some of the other issues on my plate...
Anyhow, just chilling with Rich that afternoon, even though it was relatively brief, made me happy, talking about his future plans to corner the boba market, and experiencing his playful teasing and his uncanny ability to make me laugh uncontrollably for minutes on end. =) The more things change, the more they stay the same. Or I guess, to be more honest, the more uncertainty comes my way, the more solace I find in the familiar things of my life.
Was my time with Richie the first of a long string of farewells that I might be going through in the next few months?
No matter what I decide, as for the future, the only thing I'm sure about is that my character will be strengthened. I know that much, and that gives me a sense of hope.