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February 2003 Archives

February 3, 2003

Idiot recruiters

I've got nothing against recruiters in general. Being in need of a job myself, I generally appreciate the ones who will go out of their way to find interesting and relevant job opportunities for candidates like me. However, those who resort to questionable tactics (eg, spamming your resume to companies without your permission), or are just plain ignorant will earn my utmost disdain.

As an instance of the latter: just because I used to work at E.piphany does not mean that:

  • I am still interested in working with E.piphany software as an implementer, especially when my resume objective clearly states that I am seeking something completely different
  • I am qualified to do so -- E.piphany is a diverse company with a diverse line of products; if you worked at Microsoft on the Xbox, does that automatically make you qualified to set up and administer a MS SQL Server?
If I get another email about an "E.piphany position", I'm seriously thinking about making a new section for lame emails I receive, and posting it. =P

February 4, 2003

Joe is wrong...

Arrgh -- reading Joe Yang's latest entry made me more annoyed than I've been in a long while after reading someone's thought page. It's simply the old left-wing rant that we've all heard before (fix our problems on Earth before going into space, blah, blah), and there doesn't seem to be anything new of substance.

Of course, I don't think that NASA is perfect, and I do personally have the opinion (having worked with them quite a bit in high school) that it's mired in politics too, and some of those politics (eg, having a viable shuttle replacement repeatedly put on the back burner) ultimately caused the demise of 7 astronauts and billions of dollars worth of space hardware. Yet, I continue to be staunchly pro-NASA and pro-space exploration in general.

Why? The leftist rant repeated by Joe ignores the fact that much research in space, or related to the space program, will trickle down to benefit society -- for instance, new drugs which can be investigated in weightnessless, new manufacturing techniques, computer technology, the adoption of the Internet, etc.

Nothing personal, Joe, but just want to point out that you're failing to see a major side of our space program.

February 6, 2003

East Asia Travelogue, Day 1

Well, here it is: East Asia trip report, Day 1.

Where should I start? Perhaps with the observation by now, that I've got a genuine interest in the world that's still growing. Indeed, I think my biggest academic regret at Stanford is that I didn't minor or even double major in International Relations, and/or go on a overseas program, and I've come to realize that one of my interests and indeed, hobbies, is independent travelling. Indeed, if money and the need to work were no constraint, I'd actually like to take a year and do the round-the-world travel thing, sort of like what Joann Lee did -- stopping in as many countries as possible, sort of to just "get the feel" for each place and their cultures, and perhaps just "pray" for each country -- wow, I sound like a super holy guy with that last statement, huh? Rest assured I'm not. =)

I really had no specific goal in mind for this trip -- it was in many ways, a leap of faith and expectations to see how God would work in me. But I did have some general objectives: As many of you know, I've got a strong desire to eventually go back to Asia, working as a tentmaker, and so I wanted to get a first hand look at life overseas, both in terms of getting a "feel" for the cities/countries themselves, and also talk face to face with people in my shoes, that of Christian Asian-American professionals, who've "heeded the call" and are actually living the life right now. To that end, I had some specific people I wanted to meet up with, and thankfully, I did meet everyone I pretty much wanted and then some, and of course, got to relax and "see the world", and add two new country stamps to my passport (Mongolia and South Korea). Yes, Simon is pretty much right: missions is often pretty much sight-seeing with "a few holy activities thrown in." But the two, I've come to realize, are not necessarily orthogonal to each other...

So anyhow, I'm a big believer and advocate of the tentmaking model for global missions. Basically, as a tentmaker, you're doing a real job, for a real organization or company, with a consequent real motivation to do your best. Through your work and day to day life, the friendships and relationships come naturally, and afterwards, chances to share one's faith. The key is that you're not working for any missions organization per se under any false or hidden pretenses, a practice that I generally dislike.

Let me elaborate further -- I have nothing against using work or education to gain access to "closed" countries to share the Good News. Unfortunately, too many people (and even some missions organizations as a whole) sometimes have the belief that their work is just a "cover" to get into a place and as a result, delibrately blow it off. As a personal example, this was blatantly apparent when I was on a short-term missions trip in 1999, where we were language students at a university. Such an attitude is poor witness and stewardship at the very least, and ultimately, works against whatever ministry one hopes to accomplish amongst the target people. That's what I'm against -- doing a half-assed job and justifying that with the excuse that "missions" is what we're really there for, not teaching/learning/community development/whatever, and which is why I think tentmaking is a more sound way to reach otherwise unreachable groups.

So, on to the trip...

Continue reading "East Asia Travelogue, Day 1" »

February 8, 2003

East Asia, Day 2

I groggily emerge from my state of slumber around 6:30 AM or so. The sun was just starting to emerge, but already, construction workers were buzzing to life, starting their daily routine of banging and sawing away. Soon, I notice the distinct smell of my surroundings, a hint of smoke, tinged with just the least bit of odor that reminded me that sanitation here still had a bit of a ways to go. It was then that the reality really hit me -- that I was once again in China, thousands of miles away from home.

I tried going to sleep again, and managed to get about an hour or so more, until my excitement in being back in China after a hiatus of over 3 years overcame my sleep debt again, and I sprang fully awake. My contact and his family were still sound asleep so I decide to do some cleaning up and unpacking of my stuff, which I proceeded to do until they woke up as well.

Anyhow, let me backtrack for a bit... So, actually, before retiring last night, my contact did show me around their place... quite nice by Chinese standards. And, he had a chance to look at some of the stuff I brought along. As most of you know, I have a serious weakness in gadgets. And I packed quite a LOT of them for this trip. Upon seeing my array of toys -- laptop, cell phone, GPS, Palm Pilot, camcorder, TWO digital cameras, and various other miscellania, my contact was suitably impressed -- of course, not by my humility in the material world. Although, he admitted to me that he was a gadget person as well. We even have the same exact model of digital camcorder, and we both like to edit video as a hobby. Well, it was good to know that I have a kindred spirit in that sense as well... heh.

Naturally, we soon get into a discussion about digital video and editing. "What editor program do you use?," he asked me.

Continue reading "East Asia, Day 2" »

February 18, 2003

Putting the past behind...

...Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus. -- Philippians 3:13-14, NIV.

Reading Simon's latest long thought really struck a resonant chord within me, for I have been guilty of the exact same thing: of letting my emotions, and impatience get the best of me when communicating with others, subsequently causing much unnecessary pain for myself and others -- whether vocally, in email, or yes, even in writing online. In the latter case, I am referring to two specific bits from my page: my short thought of 10/14/2001, and my long thought of 5/7/1998.

In both those cases, I was writing in what was essentially a blind, primal rage, where the feeling of anger towards the subjects of those writings was the only thing I felt. And upon reflecting in a more sober mood (and, in both cases, very harsh and well-deserved rebuking from various people as well), I've realized that they're nothing rational or didatic, but only vicious weapons forged from my own sinful heart, with a purpose to cause pain and division, without even me explicitly intending them to do so.

So... I would like to say publically (even though I've communicated my apologies privately to the affected parties in the past): I am sorry for the pain, the hurt, the sorrow that my words have caused you. What they reflected was not my real feelings at all, but a twisted, wretched self, blinded by my own darkness. I betrayed your friendship in writing these words, but more importantly, I betrayed Christ and His commands to us to love one another and keep the peace, and now I pray that you may find it in your hearts to forgive my sins. Amen.

Unlike Simon though who took down his "offending" thought, I've conciously made the decision to keep those two controversial thoughts intact... even though many times, I've considered and re-considered taking them down. There are two main reasons why I have chosen to keep them up: first, my online writings are sort of a "history" of me, and to revise history is rather troubling to me from a philosophical standpoint -- whether it's say the Japanese leaving out their atrocities in WW2, or myself leaving out my own similar "atrocities". Secondly, and more importantly, I think it serves as a public reminder of my own sinful self, and just how depraved even I, as a child of God and someone not too prone to emotionalism in public, can be when blinded by twisted, self-centered passions. They simply show me how much I need Him.

If You Want Me To

So, I've decided to make my page more Darlene-esque, and post lyrics or words that I've come across that happen to be especially meaningful to me at the moment...

Song: If You Want Me To
Artist: Ginny Owens
Album: Without Condition

The pathway is broken
And the signs are unclear
And I don't know the reason why you brought me here
But just because you love me the way that you do
I'm gonna walk through the valley
If you want me to

'Cause I'm not who I was
When I took my first step
And I'm clinging to the promise you're not through with me yet
So if all of these trials bring me closer to you
Then I will go through the fire
If you want me to

It may not be the way I would have chosen
When you lead me through a world that's not my home
But you never said it would be easy
You only said I'll never go alone

So when the whole world turns against me
And I'm all by myself
And I can't hear you answer my cries for help
I'll remember the suffering your love put you through
And I will go through the valley
If you want me to

February 22, 2003

Faithful friends

Seeing Cat again and sharing our visions at WCC in Santa Cruz, catching up with Eric over pearl milk tea, IMing with Paul in Africa, calling up and sharing with Jimmy and Ivy in Boston, looking at Davis' engagement pictures on the web, discussing physics simulation with Keith, emailing Helen in China... in being with friends, I find happiness, even though I'm such a lazy slacker when it comes to keeping in touch.

Just like you become more sensitive to light when you're in the darkness, so I think that I've been more sensitive to interacting and spending time with others when I've got an abundance of free time without day-to-day distractions.

It's not significant whom you consider your friends, I've learned, but rather it's significant whom others consider you as a friend. I thank God for friends that He's placed in my life, and I pray that they see me the way I see them, despite my weaknesses, and I'm thankful for those who see beyond my flaws and see a heart to influence.

I know that if there's but one thing I want to be remembered for, is that I have the discernment to likewise be a faithful friend to them as well. But I'm such a hypocrite when I say this, because I'm usually so lazy about keeping in touch with others. But I'm glad that at least I have the time, and no excuses right now to not do so.

Blog, blog, blog...

It seems everyone is jumping onto the blog/thought page/journal bandwagon these days.

Anyhow, I've got my own jack.html-esque page where I've listed blogs that I read regularly that aren't on jack.html as well. I've just added a whole load of new pages to it, and I must say, the social representation is quite a diverse cross-section. I'm sure Danny knows some of those people, and I would suggest them to be on jack.html, but the last time I did that, I got publically decried as a "stalker", despite the fact that I know all these people personally and I've found their pages through publically-visible links. =P (But I'm sure that neverthess, he'll see my links, and duly add them to jack.html himself... ;) )

February 23, 2003

More Google fun...

Apparently, this page on my site comes up number 2 on a Google search for "Onnuri church" (number 1 if you restrict the search to English languge pages). I get about 100 hits on this page a week, and even more absurd, I get emails from people inquiring about Onnuri, as if I were an official at that church. Funny, huh?

February 26, 2003

On Asian American names...

Interesting stuff in Danny's latest shorts, and something I've thought and theorized about a bit.

About the names, it's not a clear cut division... although I agree that the number of East Asians with American names seems to be more than Indians. Nevertheless, I can think of many "East Asian Americans" without English names, or at least they don't use them: Chi-___, Sohi... the list goes on, and of course, Jieun. =) And there are many Indians who have adopted Western names, or even family names (a byproduct of the colonial era there), eg, George Fernandes, defense minister of India.

There are two reasons I can think of: I'm guessing that it might have to do with Indians coming over more recent than other Asians (which would also answer the question of why Indian-Americans haven't entered politics as much, etc). Isn't Indian immigration to the US a fairly recent thing, commensurate with the technological boom? Whereas, Chinese and Japanese started coming to the US as early back as the 19th century, to work on railroads, etc. So, I'm sure that once Indians have had more time, there will be a greater assimilation into the US and embracing of Western culture.

Of course, even recent East Asian immigrants give their American born kids Western names, and I think there's a second reason: it would be that Westerners just can't pronounce most East Asian names, due to non-intuitive Romanization schemes for the most part.

For instance, take my last name, Wang. Pretty much everyone pronounces it like the name "Wayne", which is totally off. The proper pronounciation would be "W-ah-ng". Could you imagine someone mangling your first name as well? If you had a name like "Xiaorong", I'll bet pretty much every non-Chinese speaker will mispronounce it on the first attempt... talk about a pain.

There are unpronouncable Indian names too like "Jyotiwardhan", and in those cases, most will take on a more "Western-sounding" name. But, at least from talking to Indians I know, most Indian first names are actually not too difficult for Westerners to grasp: Samir, Nitin, Chirag, etc. -- the way you'd say it in English intuitively is pretty much the way you'd say it in Hindi or whatever their native language happens to be.

And no, I think that most Indians would probably not lump themselves with Chinese/Japanese/Koreans, etc. (Curry, BTW, originated from India... sure it's spread throughout Asia, but it's not indigenous to other cultures.) Indeed, thinking of Asians as one united identity is sort of a artificial and somewhat awkward notion, in my view -- much more so than say, thinking of a pan-European identity.

It makes sense if you consider history: Europe has had the Roman Empire, Pax Romana, and later, the Catholic church ruling over most of the continent at points in time. The closest thing to Asia was Genghis Khan's empire, but even that did not cover South/Southeast/West Asia.

Consider that in every Asian language (at least the ones I know), there is no natively-derived word for Asia -- eg, the Chinese word is "ya zhou" (亚洲), in Japanese its "A-shi-ya" (アシヤ)... isn't it similar for Korean as well?

Incidentally, I recommend the book "The Accidental Asian" by Eric Liu, where he basically debunks and deconstructs the "Asian-American" identity as an artificial construct, created by non-Asians. His theory is that Asians come from disparate backgrounds, not just say, South Asians vs. East Asians, but even with regions: eg, while there's a lot shared, Chinese have a vastly different cultural heritage than say, Koreans than most Westerners appreciate, and the notion of "Asian", let alone "Asian-American" is just a Western point of view.

But yeah, fascinating stuff.

About February 2003

This page contains all entries posted to Ryu2.mind in February 2003. They are listed from oldest to newest.

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