Check this out -- I got a random ICQ from some stranger named Kristy Kwan, and check out the conversation that developed... pretty unfo. It seems hard to believe, but it's the first time that I have really shared Christ this openly and surely, it seems! A lot of things have been just really pointing me to the missions field, and it all seems like God is revealing something... wow. -------------------------------------- ICQ Messages Log For: 19274187 caffeina Started on Wed Feb 17 23:17:05 1999 -------------------------------------- 2/17/99 8:56 AM caffeina oh I accidentally saw your web page one day ... hope you don't mind... 2/17/99 7:32 PM caffeina hello hello stanford guy why you always away? 2/17/99 7:35 PM caffeina I saw on you homepage, you are a real acheiver, really admire you 2/17/99 7:36 PM Mark Well, I'm usually here, I'm just too lazy to change my status. Where are you from? Are you in school right now? 2/17/99 7:37 PM caffeina hong kong no I graduated a few years ago working now where are you now, in Stanford? 2/17/99 7:38 PM Mark Yup, I'm at Stanford. I know a bunch of people from HK -- you don't know a Keith Lee do you? 2/17/99 7:38 PM caffeina it just happen one day when I was bored and unhappy at work I try to read about religion and saw your words and I am so amazed that people so really really smart are so religious 2/17/99 7:39 PM Mark wow, what a coincidence. Are you of a religious faith yourself? 2/17/99 7:40 PM caffeina keith lee stanford people as well might have heard saw his page links to your as well is he the finance guy sorry I was being very curious don't mean to intrude your privacy 2/17/99 7:41 PM caffeina no try many times , have not found the right place yet people I meet do not convince me whenever I feel sad, weak I want to rely on religion as you guys always seems to have the power from within but have no luck yet 2/17/99 7:47 PM Mark Yeah, Keith is the finance guy. It's good that you are turning to religoin. But really, it's trusting in Him that counts. It's the assurance that God is there to carry you through the trials of life. And really, success here is meaningless... 2/17/99 7:49 PM caffeina it is easy for you bunch to say that as all of you are mega successful I don't know I am so confused what's count anymore in this materialistic and competitive word all I know I spend most of my time tryng to perfect myself, to learn more, to be more competitive, how I wish I was born with more intelligence 2/17/99 7:52 PM Mark It might seem that way from outward appearances, but in reality, when we were created by God, we all sinned. God only looks at that, and not success. We all have our own struggles in our hearts. But our assurance is that we will be saved, if we believe in Him. That is what gives us peace, and joy... that simple faith we have, nothing more and nothing less! 2/17/99 7:58 PM caffeina you think belief in Him does help your struggle? I don't know sometime I thought it is kind of pessimistic If I really believe in that, I can tell myself to forget to achieve and to thrive less hard, but I don't want just to accept the reality that I am not competitive enough, not good enough, just a simple normal person I 2/17/99 8:02 PM Mark But what drives us to be competitive? For what does it gain, if in the end, we lose it all? 2/17/99 8:04 PM caffeina may be some feel good factor about oneself yeah it is long time to the end what about during it, no need to be successful what makes you acheive so much it is not sheer born intelligence right 2/17/99 8:07 PM Mark It's not my intelligence -- everything comes from Him and not from me, and we all have different gifts, as part of one Body. It says: 12I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want. 13I can do everything through him who gives me strength. " 2/17/99 8:08 PM Mark plenty or in want. 13I can do everything through him who gives me strength. " So our strength comes from Him, and He blesses us in many forms, some which we do not realize. 2/17/99 8:10 PM caffeina you mean if I want to acheive something but find it hard, many obstacles and if I believe in HIM I will be able to do it? 2/17/99 8:12 PM Mark Well, part of it is believing, but once we believe, then we submit our lives to Him, and let Him tell us what to do, so that we may be more like Jesus Christ, the son of God. He may tell us in our walk that what we think is best is not the best in His plan. 2/17/99 8:15 PM caffeina ok as you sound very nice, I'll take your word for it today and try to feel happier about myself. Hey do you celebrate Chinese new year? 2/17/99 8:17 PM caffeina arghhhhhhh I am still very puzzled how shall I start if I want to think like you and feel good and positive? 2/17/99 8:28 PM caffeina have you gone? have I said something wrong? 2/17/99 8:32 PM Mark Ahhhh, sorry, I had to leave to talk to some ppl... I am still here 2/17/99 8:33 PM Mark Well, do you have a copy of the Bible? 2/17/99 8:34 PM Mark The Bible is the living word of God... that is one of the ways He speaks to us on Earth today... 2/17/99 8:34 PM caffeina arghhhhh I mean I should read bible? I studies in catholic primary, secondary school for more than 10 years even did a religious studies for HKCEE it has no influence on me 2/17/99 8:37 PM Mark Ahhh, see, one can read the Bible and not believe what it says... just like one can read a fictional novel, but one does not believe that what the novel says is true, no? But if we read the words of the Bible as truth, then it is God speaking to us, and not just a bunch of words. Have you heard of the Four Spiritual Laws? 2/17/99 8:41 PM caffeina I just treat it as a subject to be studied as it is compulsory I always made fun of those Jesus stories and act very rebellious in RS class I made my class mates laughed a lot I think may be I am too stubborn hey how did you start? 2/17/99 8:44 PM Mark Well, my parents went to church, so I was kind of exposed to this stuff from the very beginning... but no one is born a Christian -- everyone has to make that concious decision to accept Jesus Christ as their Lord and Savior... see, we can know OF Christ, but not know Him as true... 2/17/99 8:54 PM caffeina hey you added me to your contact list, I am so flattered! 2/17/99 9:02 PM Mark WEll, just returning the favor! 2/17/99 9:05 PM caffeina how old are you? 2/17/99 9:06 PM Mark I'm 21 and you? 2/17/99 9:08 PM caffeina you are 21 only? so you are a real prodigy... gosh I thought you must be in the mid 20 to have been graduated and working errr I am so ashame to say I am a very very very very old woman I am 26 2/17/99 9:09 PM Mark no, I will be in school for some time to come. what are you working on? 2/17/99 9:10 PM caffeina in school haven't you finished you degree with Stanford? I am working as a research analyst with BARRA, an investment technology company I am a pretty much a lowly statistician 2/17/99 9:14 PM Mark that's pretty interesting. A lot of my friends are into business/finance/consulting/i-banking, etc, so it kind of rubs off on me. I guess if you enjoy your work, then whatever you're called to do, is fine. 2/17/99 9:17 PM caffeina yeah I am very happy to be in this field and I am getting more interested to go into financial engineering but on the other hand, everytime I see my friends and they are all lawyers and accountant and earning 4 times my salary, I start to feel so bad about myself life is so hard sometime I just keep feeling I should acheive more but I will have to spend much much time to build things up and that is what bugs me the clock is ticking 2/17/99 9:23 PM Mark I can understand that... but at the same time, how do you know if that's your calling in life or not? Certainly those lawyers, etc. have their own new sets of problems to worry about. A zero-sum game, basically, one would imagine... 2/17/99 9:27 PM caffeina yeah I sort of gathered I will have to work hard and long and I am not those sort of rich people no matter how I acheive material things does not really bugs me that much but it is the people who make me feel bad once they know what you do and they don't know what it is, it is not doctor, lawyers or accountant, they start thinking how badly you are doing may be I shouldn't be bothered with what they think 2/17/99 9:34 PM Mark Yes, but don't you think that humans tend to think from a human point of view, relative to their environment? For instance, if I was a beggar on the street, I should surely see you as rich beyond measure. But God, since He created us and is soverign over all creation, sees us from a absolute point of view, namely that He loves what He created... that is what is so special, a love that is unconditional. 2/17/99 9:41 PM caffeina I am so glad you take the trouble to talk to me and listen to my moaning yeah I know I am actually well off than many people and my job is fun to me and secure but I shouldn't be comparing to the worse, right 2/17/99 9:46 PM Mark Thanks... It's really been insightful getting to know you, too, and I'm glad you like what you're doing. Anyways, if you have time, you might want to seek out these web sites for some interesting stuff: http://www.gospelcom.net/guidance/gospel/ http://www.ccci.org/laws/languages.html It's getting a bit late here at Stanford, but you can email me anytime at mwang@cs.stanford.edu, or just ICQ me and I will get it eventually... 2/17/99 9:47 PM caffeina sure I am glad talking to you glad you don't find me an old boring woman to talk to 2/17/99 9:48 PM caffeina yeah I will check those web sites out by the way are you proud of studying in such a renowned place? 2/17/99 9:50 PM Mark Hey, it's not often that I get ICQed by someone from HK... Yes, I am glad that I am at Stanford, but at the same time, I always strive to remember that God is in control, and that everything has been given to me for His purpose, and that we should be stewards of what we have. " If we boast, let it be in the name of the Lord", so it says. Let me know if you have any questions about what you find on the web... 2/17/99 9:51 PM caffeina ok don't you icq your friends in hk like keith? 2/17/99 9:53 PM Mark Keith doesn't seem to use ICQ that much these days... but the whole ICQ thing IS getting more and more popular, seems like more and more of my friends are getting into it. 2/17/99 9:54 PM caffeina hey what does keith do he seems very successful as I read is he your age as well? 2/17/99 9:55 PM Mark Yes, he is my year in school. He's really into finance and high-tech... he just has a real passion for it! But we're all still students for now! 2/17/99 9:56 PM caffeina how come he is working here? which bit of finance? the technology bit or the real money maker, like trader? 2/17/99 9:57 PM Mark The i-banking stuff, he was working at Morgan and GS in the past summers... He's playing the stock market now too on a personal basis... 2/17/99 10:00 PM caffeina wow I see I thought he is permanently working in MS so he will have to go back to Stanford to finish the degree by the way you are an American right? I mean so sort of ABC? 2/17/99 10:02 PM Mark He's at STanford now w/ me, and we'll be here for some time more. I'm a ABC, Keith was born in HK 2/17/99 10:05 PM caffeina oh I see how interesting I would never dreamt of getting into MS or GS, must have to be extra smart hey you two smart guys together, must have so much fun! how I wish I can go back to college! 2/17/99 10:07 PM Mark I don't know about smart, but we do have fun... ;) 2/17/99 10:08 PM caffeina I envy you!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! how much longer do you have with stanford are you thinking of jobs yet? applying yet? 2/17/99 10:09 PM Mark I'll be here one more year to get my master's in CS, after that I don't know what I'm going to do... maybe work for a startup company. 2/17/99 10:12 PM caffeina so you will have more fun! how nice I did my degree in UK BSc in statistics, MSc in medical statistics but now I wish I did a Msc in financial mathematics 2/17/99 10:16 PM Mark Interesting... I will be doing a MS in computer science. I am taking a financial mathematics course now -- basically derivative pricing theory. interesting stuff. Actually, Stanford just started a new MS program in fnancial math... 2/17/99 10:18 PM caffeina well that is what I really want to learn I have done no finance at all I want to do start on a part time MSc in financial maths here in hk I love to study in Stanford as well but guess it is so hard to get in and so expensive do I need a GMAT of 700? see money is quite important sometime 2/17/99 10:21 PM Mark Well, I don't know much about that area of Stanford... I am a mere CS person after all... but it's all the same pretty much... 2/17/99 10:21 PM caffeina see if I did a MSc in finance before I will be better off now perhaps but things seems to be arranged I made so many good friends in my MSc year though I don't like the sunject too much I don't know.... I just thought I am not smart enough to choose before but the thought of meeting my best friend, a french girl, seems to be so good for my soul 2/17/99 10:23 PM caffeina ok if I do start my MSc here this year or next year and I have problems in understandig those stuff, you can teach me you genious! 2/17/99 10:24 PM Mark we'll see about that!!! It's all about how you use what you have learned, after all... 2/17/99 10:25 PM caffeina yeah sure I am a statistician, I should be well equipped... 2/17/99 10:29 PM Mark it woudl seem so! 2/17/99 10:43 PM caffeina hey have you heard of BARRA my company is US, it's head office is near UC Berkeley it is also a listed company and is in NASDAQ if it happens to be what you read across, let me know what its reputation like in US my office is small and unknown to most people here so I kind of wonder if it is any good sometimes 2/17/99 10:43 PM caffeina sorry I just kicked out of icq 2/17/99 10:44 PM Mark Hmmm... I'll check it out, maybe Keith or one of my other friends knows more... 2/17/99 10:45 PM caffeina thanks I was just curious 2/17/99 10:47 PM Mark Cool. I need to get working on some stuff right now, but just drop me a line whenever... I'll be around. 2/17/99 10:47 PM caffeina what time is it in Stanford? 12 midnight? 2/17/99 10:48 PM caffeina thank you for being so kind I will leave you to work now see you round! v